I have always been a go-go-go type of person. It’s not always noticeable because I can focus for hours on one specific task; but the point is that when my eyes open for the day, I know what I hope–nay, what I’ve planned–to accomplish before the night is done. When Iris came along, it was easy to subject her to this. Sure, she had a little bit of control, what with being certain to determine her own nap schedule. But then it was set finally and we knew when we had time and we figured out how to fit things in, in between.
Even before my kids came into the world, I tried to keep a realistic perspective of what being a parent means. I don’t want to lose myself entirely to motherhood; but I want to assume the role to the extent that I can accept a new lifestyle that’s fitting for my kids. That is to say, I understood that becoming a parent would mean that life wouldn’t look the same, and I’m going to go there and maybe offend someone and say that it shouldn’t look the same.
Needless to say, things have changed again with two. Edith is beginning to take on a schedule; and as we leave the sleep-eat-sleep newborn phase and work toward naps, I’m starting to realize: we are never going to leave the house again! (Clearly, kidding. But also, seriously.) Most weeks, we’re at home for entire and consecutive days at a time.
The thought of this happening was more terrifying than it is in actuality. Really, our days have taken on a new routine and they fly by with fun. I’m trying to be fully content with being home and taking it all in, even on my more restless days. This fun time at home is so fleeting, and I don’t ever want to take for granted that I’m lucky enough to be there for each and every moment with my girls. It would be easy for me to stress over all I can’t turn my attention to–especially with having to meet deadlines under coffee house lights early in the morning or banging out some writing on the rare occasion both girls nap at the same time. But I’ve found it much more rewarding to focus on what I can attend to, because aren’t they just the most precious?
That didn’t keep me from wondering, what do we do all day if we aren’t leaving the house? Because, gee whiz, I’m still so tired at the end of the day.